mentioning the unmentionable...

Well now. I may be old but that also makes me experienced.. and when it comes to romance and erm, hanky-panky well, through the mists of time I've formed some opinions.

So I was talking with my dear friend Pearl this week about the difference between emotional s*x and easy s*x (let's call it 'socks' for now). You know, good old-fashioned girl-talk, chewing the cud about one night stands... what's really empowering for women... all that kind of stuff.

Nowadays men and women are free to 'tiptoe through the tulips' more easily than in my day. That doesn't mean it didn't happen... but it definitely is easier now. My (current) humble opinion is that the only way to be promiscuous and 'empowered', is to always use integrity and to be really bloody honest with yourself about who you are and what really 'honestly' makes you happy.

One night stands are fabulous. Hanky-panky 'arrangements' are fabulous. But I actually think in the end, really deep love will make for the best, most intense... 'socks' and a combination of both. There is of course a place for all of these things and all of them are grrrrreat! One night stands (let's call it 'stunt socks') where you tend to show off all your moves and go buck wild, buck naked. And why not. My only tip here would be to ensure the bathroom sink isn't going to fall off the wall (experience again). Not that I'm suggesting you carry out a conveyancing survey beforehand, of course!

Now the mistake a lot of people make.. is to then be used for it so of course to not be the one in control. Now, a merry old tiptoe through the tulips should never be mistaken for love or affection. It is just a physical act, so frequently a part of love, but not exclusively. In order to really be empowered, you have no better, more powerful tool than your personality. Nobody can ever replicate that, your individuality can never be repeated. That is what will really empower an individual. Their mind, integrity, personality...

My body is old now. But it's a precious map of experience. Men who love me, love my wild mind and all the tales I hold in it. They love the places I've been, the people I've met, the opinions I've formed, the sparkle in my eye and the unpredictability of my nature. And lo and behold.. they do love me and I am still attractive to them. And I can assure you I'm not 18 any more.

As well as Pearl, I've also been discussing socks this week with a beautiful young woman I know who was finding this line between passion and power confusing. She wanted to be in control but quickly realised that stunt socks alone wasn't the key for her. Being desirable and able to choose who she 'sang show tunes' with wasn't enough. It's because she's so bright, vivacious and intelligent.

For women, it's not their privates that are their last line of defence, but their hearts and ultimately the deadly combination of the two. It's not until they can truly differentiate between the two and understand those feelings between passion and love that they can really be empowered. Choosing who visits Cybil Shepherd's Bush or dangling your jingly-janglies around town... isn't empowerment, it's just cheap advertising. Bargain basement. Pound shop. Mass manufacture.

I suppose what this tired old broad is trying to say is that 'empowerment' is nothing to do with 'power'. Just good old-fashioned respect. Which you start by giving yourself and earn from others. I think that's the most you can expect from anyone. And of course, giving respect to other people is nice too.

Cheerio for now.